Filipino Style Contracting and Filipino Q&A

[CACN Network, Inc.]

Iba ang PINOY!!!!!

PINOY CONTRACTOR ABROAD

Three contractors are bidding to fix the White House fence.
One from the Philippines , another from Mexico and an American.
They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The American contractor takes out a tape measure and does some
measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. Well," he says. "I
figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew
and $100 profit for me."

The Mexican contractor also does some measuring and figuring,
then says, "I can do $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100
profit for me."

The Filipino contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans
over to the White House official and whispers: "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "What? You didn't even measure
like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure? How do
you expect me to consider your service with that bid??

"Easy," the Pinoy explains, "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and
we hire the guy from Mexico ".

The next day, the Pinoy and the Mexican are working on the
Fence.

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Filipino Q & A

Q. What's the difference between corruption in the US and
corruption in the Philippines ?

A. In the U.S. they go to jail. In the Philippines , they go to
the U.S.

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Q. What`s the difference among Philippine Presidents Cory,
Gloria and Erap?

A. Cory can`t tell a lie
Gloria can`t tell the truth
Erap can`t tell the difference

DYOK...DYOK...DYOK

REPORTER: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence, witness or suspect
ano na po ang next step ninyo??
Police: DNA na...
REPORTER: Sir, ano po yung DNA ???
Police: "Di Namin Alam "

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Bobo1: Pare, alam mo ba tawag sa paniki na mababa ang lipad?
Bobo2: Hindi eh! Ano ba pare?
Bobo1: Lowbat pare! Lowbat!
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TEACHER: Anong similarity nina Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio,
Ninoy Aquino at Apolinario Mabini?
STUDENT: Ma'am, pagkaka-alam ko po, silang lahat ay pinanganak
ng holiday!

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TITSER: Juan, use recharge & caffeine in a sentence.
JUAN: Si "Recharge" Gutierrez ay si "Caffeine" Barbell.
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ERAP: Soli ko tong nabili kong DVD.
FPJ: Anong problema?
ERAP: Walang picture, tsaka sound. Sayang. Suspense thriller pa
yata to. Tsk, tsk...
FPJ: Anong title?
ERAP: "The Lens Cleaner"
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PROMDI: Lam ko promdi lang ako kaya wag mo kong lolokohin! Bakit
ganito ang kwarto ko? Maliit, wala pang kama at bintana..... ha?
ROOMBOY: Sir, nasa elevator pa lang po tayo...
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Titser: Ano ang hugis ng mundo?
Juan: Kuwadrado po, maam!
Titser: Hindi! Ang mundo ay bilog.
Juan: Pero maam, sabi ng lolo ko, narating na niya ang APAT na
sulok ng mundo. May sulok po ba ang bilog?
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Eliseo: Sobra na talaga ang katangahan ng kumare mo. Ang akala
niya, ang LAWSUIT ay uniporme ng pulis!
JoshuA: Sus! Tanga nga! Eh di ba, uniporme ng abugado yun?
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